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Showing posts with label memoirs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memoirs. Show all posts

Friday, 6 March 2020

8 Things my Grandmother taught me that made me #TheWomanThatIAm



After my mother passed away when I was twelve, my maternal grandmother became the mother figure in my life. Despite battling with breast cancer and losing her only daughter, she made a vow to live for me, to raise me as a strong, independent woman and only leave the world when she has done her job successfully. It was because of her tremendous will power that she survived several operations and became a breast cancer survivor.

From a grandmother to a mother to a best friend and guide, she played various roles in my life. I would like to mention 8 things that my grandmother taught me which made me the woman that I am.

1.Never give the driver's seat of your life to anyone.


During my late teens and early twenties, I often relied on others for making important decisions. My grandmother taught me to control the steering and drive my own life. She taught me to make my own decisions and never give that power to anyone else, no matter how close they are to me or how difficult it is for me to make the decision. She taught me to take full ownership of my life and responsibility for my actions so that I never play the blame game or behave like a victim. 



2.Faith will take you anywhere you want to go.

Today, I am a huge believer in the law of attraction. It is from my grandmother that I learned faith can make anything possible whereas doubts can ruin everything.

3.Nothing is stronger than your willpower.

As I already mentioned, it was my grandmother’s willpower that helped her survive many operations.  When I was giving my class 12 board exams, I was suffering from a chronic migraine that hardly allowed me to study. I thought I would fail in my exams. It was during that time she told me that nothing is stronger than willpower. And true to her words, I managed my studies by sheer willpower and passed the exams with flying colors. 




4.If you want to know whether a person or place is good for you, observe how you are feeling within when you meet that person or visit that place. Your intuition will never lie.

During my early twenties, I made too many mistakes in recognizing people. As a result, many people took advantage of my goodness and betrayed my trust. That is when my grandmother gave me this beautiful pearl of advice, which has helped me over the years to understand people better.

5.People who love us unconditionally never leave us. They live within us, providing courage and strength during the hours we need it.

Whenever I missed my mother, my grandmother comforted me with these words until I realized how true it is. 


6. Life is an echo. What we give, return to us manifold. Bless everyone and blessings will return to you manifold. Talking negatively about anyone will make that person talk more negatively about you, thereby making the relationship bitter.

Whenever I felt someone wronged me and talked negatively about them, this is what my grandmother told me. And after many years of ignoring it, today I live by this advice and try not to think/talk negatively about anyone. 


7.Tears are not a sign of weakness. The person who can cry without inhibitions can laugh freely.

After I lost my mother, I used to try to maintain a tough exterior. I used to feel ashamed of crying. When I used to see my grandmother in tears, holding my mother’s photograph, I used to feel uncomfortable. That was when my grandmother taught me to embrace tears with the same ease that I embrace laughter. And that has helped me laugh and live life to the fullest.


8.Honesty is the best prayer.

My grandmother was a very spiritual person. I had never seen her telling a lie. When I asked her how she manages to do it, she told me that the best way to be close to God, is to be honest. Satyam Shivam Sundaram! Truth is God. Over the years, as I became more spiritually inclined, these words of my grandmother got ingrained in my mind and helped me become a better person.

My grandmother left the world in 2017, when I was twenty six, but her life continues to inspire me. Just like Mahatma Gandhi said, “My life is my message”, my grandmother’s life was her message to all her loved ones. She was my grandmother, mother, friend, guide, and soulmate combined into one. She lives within me and her love sheaths me from every danger.

Blankets of snow
Fail to smother the warmth
Of my pashmina shawl
That my grandmother
Weaved for me
A decade back.
How adeptly
Her labor of love
Defeats the frosty thorns
From stinging me today.
Love alone triumphs!





“This post is a part of ‘The Woman That I Am’ Blog Hop #TheWomanThatIAm organized by Rashi Roy and Manas Mukul #RRxMM. The Event is sponsored by Kraffitti.”

Tuesday, 22 May 2018

Love Actually~ A moment frozen in time


Photographs are no doubt a person's most prized treasure as they capture the smile, the twinkle of the eye and the glow of the face perfectly. After the passage of many years, when we come across one such photograph, we can relive that moment once again in the screen of our mind. And it makes us feel that we are alive. 

Material possessions are nothing compared to the moments where we have truly lived...moments where our souls were dancing with joy...moments when we felt an abundance of love. 

The selfie culture has made it easier to capture precious moments without depending on another person to capture the moment. There is a story behind each photograph and today, I am going to share the story behind one of my favorite selfies.


This is the selfie of me and my grandmother whom I fondly called Dimma. It was taken in 2013 at Digha, a sea beach near Kolkata. My grandmother and I shared a very deep soul connection where we could read each other's eyes and understand the unspoken words. We were also great friends who pulled each other's legs and laughed a lot together. There were no secrets between me and her. That's how close we were.

She was very fond of sea beaches and so, every year, we used to go to Digha or Mandarmani, the beaches near Kolkata. She used to close her eyes as the sea breeze caressed her face. She used to look at the waves with a child-like delight and discuss philosophies of life with me. 

During this particular vacation, I bought a white hat and was clicking plenty of pictures. 

"Dimma! Click a nice picture of me with this hat. Isn't it looking pretty on me?" I asked her as I was posing in front of the mirror.

"Yes, you look pretty in everything. You know I always wanted to wear a white hat and a pink sweater. I wanted to see how I look in it. A silly fantasy!" My grandmother chuckled. 

"No, not at all silly. You will look so beautiful. You wear my pink cardigan and this white hat tomorrow when we go to the beach." I said with a lot of enthusiasm.

"Jhum, are you crazy? What will people think? An old woman of 70 roaming around in a pink sweater and a hat. No, my dear, I can wear it now, in front of you. But not in front of everyone." My grandmother said.

"No. You have to do this for me. Else I will be upset. You say you love me the most. Can't you do this for me, Dimma?" I tried to emotionally blackmail her so that she agrees.

Finally, my grandmother nodded her head and smiled at me. 

So, the next day, I wore my violet floral dress and a hairband. Due to my emotional blackmailing, my grandmother wore my pink cardigan over her saree and the white hat. She looked so beautiful that I couldn't stop praising her. A young couple also complimented my grandmother. She was delighted. 

I took out my phone and captured that moment. The selfie was awesome. My grandmother stole all the limelight from me. When I showed it to my grandmother, she was so excited. She couldn't believe that she was looking so good and different. She kissed my cheek and told me that I made her so happy. Whenever we showed this selfie to any relative or friend, everyone complimented only my grandmother and the ways her eyes twinkled, appeased my soul.

She passed away last year, but whenever I look at this selfie, it makes me feel happy and peaceful. This selfie has made the beauty of that moment immortal.

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