My take on pre-marital sex

I clearly remember a discussion in my college days about whether people indulging in pre-marital sex are right or wrong. Well, there were diverse answers. Some of them I remember are:

“If there is true love between us, then what is wrong with sex?” 

“I won’t dare to do that as my family will kill me if anything goes wrong.”

“Everyone is doing it these days. Not a big deal.”

“Why is premarital sex such a big issue in our country? I don’t get it.”

“A certain limit of intimacy is good but sex should be saved for marriage.”

I am not a stickler and I respect the decisions of the thousands of couples who find live-in relationships better than marriage. However, I feel that sex is the most powerful force given by God to man and it is not something designed for mere pleasure. There is a very interesting story in Greek mythology to support this view.

At the very beginning of creation, men and women were designed as one being. The body had two heads looking at different directions, four legs, four arms and two sets of sex organs. The human being looked as if two creatures have been glued together. The Greek Gods were intimidated with this creation as this creature was extremely powerful. Zeus, the Supreme Lord then decided to make this creature lose some amount of strength. So, with the help of a lightning bolt, he cut the creature in two halves. Thus, men and women were created. This somehow weakened the creature and his or her whole life is spent looking for the other half. Once the search for the lost half completes, he or she regains the highest amount of strength. That embrace in which the two bodies re-fuse to become one again is known as sex. 

This mythological story tells us that sex is such a powerful force which establishes profound companionship with one’s better half. Sex is not an act of mere carnal pleasure. It has been designed by God for some superior reasons. It is created for procreation and for the purpose of experiencing deep love on the physical, emotional and spiritual plane. 

Sex is not just a medium to fulfill pleasures and to have some fun or recreation.  A couple who is deeply in love with each other is bound to get intimate. When you love a person deeply with all your heart, heading towards physical intimacy is natural. But before surrendering your virginity to that person, question yourself if he or she will be with you till the end of time? What if that person is not the one for you and cheats on you after some days? When you would finally find your better half and marry him/her, won’t you feel bad then? Indulging with multiple sexual partners can never provide us with the contentment of deep love and harmony. 

Virginity should be surrendered only to that person who would provide you with a life-time commitment. This commitment can be only obtained from a marriage. Now few people can tell, what is the guarantee that my husband or wife won’t cheat on me? Right, there is no guarantee. But if you compare a relationship with a marriage, you would see that the commitment and contentment obtained from marriage is far more. Till now, I just talked about the religious or spiritual aspect of sex.

Now let us see the other areas where pre-marital sex can impose an adverse effect:

Social and psychological

Many young people, especially in their teenage years indulge in pre-marital sex as they find it to be an adventurous thing. Adolescents are very immature and they cannot deal with it after indulging. Their academic performance falls down; their relationship with their family and friends also starts crumbing. Feelings of arduous guilt and the apprehension of pregnancy dangles in the mind of girls. Everyone loves adventure but that should not provide a person with an abundance of worries.

The consequences of premarital sex can be dangerous and can totally wreck someone’s life. In case there is a contraception failure which is quite common, the girl is left with two choices: abortion or giving birth to an illegitimate child. Both the process can paralyze her psychologically, especially if her partner leaves her hand at that crucial stage. The children of unwed mothers also suffer throughout their lives. It provides loneliness, struggles and endless stress. 

When a relationship breaks, you can easily forget it if you didn’t have sex with your partner. Having sex with a person, with whom you break up as a matter of choice or fate, can haunt you with unpleasant memories, especially when your spouse makes love to you after marriage. So, premarital sex hugely affects a person psychologically.

Health 

Pre-marital sex also implies risking your health. Apart from the life threatening disease AIDS, you also expose yourself to the sexually transmitted diseases such as syphilis or herpes.  Herpes is a disfiguring disease that has no cure. So, are few minutes of pleasure really worth of exposing yourself to these perilous diseases? 

Some of the sexually transmitted disease results in loss of fertility. According to statistics, 80% of people are infertile because they contracted a sexually transmitted disease before marriage. Many of these venereal diseases show no symptoms and after many years, the couple finds out the reason behind their infertility.

The contraceptive pills that are designed to prevent pregnancy have plenty of side effects. The most painful of the side effects is breakthrough bleeding which occurs due to changes in hormone levels. Other side effects include weight gain, headaches, nausea, moodiness, depression, acne, blood clots, high blood pressure, gall stones and heart attacks. Taking pills for a long time can also increase the risk of breast or cervical cancer.

Conclusion

True love is definitely not about having sex. If a person loves you, he would give your relationship the beautiful name of marriage or would wait for the right time for marriage without rushing towards sex. A person who would truly love you would never want you to go through any health or social problems. He would never want you to go through psychological complications of pre-marital sex and the constant fear of pregnancy. True love is patient and kind.

I say NO to pre-marital sex.

P.S: These are completely my own views. I respect if you have a different opinion.

Read Poonaam Uppal's True Love - A Mystical True Love Story on Flipkart.

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