Life,
a wonderful enigma for some
A
constant struggle for some others
A
labyrinth that can suffocate,
Rob
away all your dreams
Only
if you let it happen…
Rekindle
your heart with hope
Believe
in miracles again
You
say, it’s too hard
Well,
witness a dawn
After
a thunderous black night
Miracles
happen every day!
Someone very dear to me had committed suicide a year
back and I am still trying to cope up with the loss. I know the insufferable anguish,
the stinging torture and the acerbic memories that she might have faced before
opting for suicide.
After some time, a
person who is suffering a lot cannot take it anymore and decides that only
death can bring him or her ultimate peace. But no…the soul cannot rest in peace
when it is mercilessly separated by the body through suicide. Suicide is never a solution. The only solution is
fighting with the problem with courage and fueling the heart with hope.
Recently, I read a book “The Story of a Suicide” written by Sriram Ayer online. The entire
book is available on the website http://www.storyofasuicide.com/
. At first, I was skeptical if I can read an entire book online as I have never
read a book online. Either I opt for paperbacks or I read in my Kindle device.
However, I did not have any problem in reading the
book online. It was a fast and easy read. The website is designed in such a way
that you can easily move from one chapter to another. The chapters of the book
are accompanied by beautiful illustrations by Ghana that makes the reading
experience amazing. The audio book is also available on the website.
The
story
It tells the story of four characters: Hari, Sam,
Charu and Mani, whose lives are entangled in a web of love, revenge and deceit.
The story begins with a suicide note that really disturbs you. It is not
revealed to the readers who wrote the note. You need to read the entire book to
find it out.
“I
am sad. I am tired. Helpless. Disillusioned. Paranoid. Unhappy.”
“Perhaps
I am destined to be unhappy and unloved.”
These are a few lines of the suicide note. It was
heart wrenching to read the note which clearly portrayed the feelings of a
person who gave up on life. I was keen to know what the story of this suicide
is all about and so I kept reading the book.
The
four main characters
The readers are introduced to the four pivotal
characters of the book one by one. At first, Hari is introduced whom we see
attending a national seminar on the rights of sexual minorities. His father is preparing
a special dish for him at home as he will be going to KIT, Madras for his
studies. Hari comes across as a docile, confused and shy person. As the story
unfolds, we learn that Hari was a victim of child sexual abuse.
Next, we are introduced to Sam, a self-proclaimed
tech geek who is also preparing to leave for KIT, Madras. We see him taking his
girlfriend, Priya to a comedy show. Sam is constantly on twitter and Priya
seems disinterested in the comedy show. After a while, Priya breaks up with him
and leave. Sam is hurt at the sudden breakup, but also angry on Priya. He
writes an insulting letter to Priya in his blog. Sam comes across as a
self-absorbed, assertive person with a huge ego that can be wounded easily.
When Sam reaches KIT, he gets to know that a guy has
tried to commit suicide. A girl is trying desperately to save him. Sam helps the
girl and save the unfortunate boy’s life by taking him to the hospital on time.
We get to know that the guy who tried committing suicide is Mani and the girl
who was trying to save him was Charu, Mani’s best friend.
We learn that Mani committed suicide because he was
unable to cope up with English as he has studied all his school in his mother
tongue. Mani comes across as a sensible and quiet person who has seen a lot of
pain in life. As the story unfolds, we get to learn about the suffering that he
had faced all his life because of poverty and an evil father. Later, he
befriends Hari, who helps him in English.
Charu on the other hand, is a very confident,
cheerful and strong girl. She is so beautiful that Sam gets attracted to her
immediately. However, as the story unfolds, she comes across as a very
complicated girl with frequent mood swings. We can also see her fighting some
inner battles due to a broken childhood. She sees weird dreams that disturb
her. She is brave and a hardcore feminist. She is also vulnerable and longs for
someone who will love her, without trying to control her.
What
I liked in the story
Without giving away any spoilers, I would say that “The Story of a Suicide” is a book that must
be read by every youngster. The story shows the demons and painful memories
that we all have to face in our lives. No one’s life is devoid of problems, but
how you handle your problems make you a winner.
The book talks about serious subjects such as child
sexual abuse, homosexuality, suicide, exam pressure, complicated relationships,
cyber crime, etc. In this book, all the four characters are dealing with a
problem that seems to overwhelm them at times. We can see Sam walking towards
the abyss because his ego is so wounded. He knows not how he is destroying his
life, in the garb of revenge.
We can see Charu totally lost and scared when she
becomes the victim of cyber bullying. Hari and Mani’s lives turn topsy-turvy
when they fall into the trap that was laid for someone else.
The book shows how problems can scare and wound us
from time to time, but it is totally up to us whether we want to fight or want
to quit. It also highlights the casual and carefree way that youngsters live
their lives, which lands them in serious problems. It shows how we should not
misuse Facebook to show our anger on someone and how it can bring us trouble.
Depression
is lack of expression
Depression leads to suicide, in most cases. A person
who commits suicide is often depressed for a long period of time. It is when
the depression reaches to a very high state that the person feels suicidal. In the book “The Story of a suicide”, we see two suicide
cases; the root cause of both of them is depression since a long time.
Depression is nothing but lack of expression. When a
person is hurt, lonely or afraid, he needs to express that feeling either by
confiding in a close person or through creativity. If a person suppresses
feelings of hurt, anger, loneliness, fear and resentment for months and years,
it will take the shape of depression which is a serious malady.
We can see how Hari, one of the characters of the
book suppresses all his feelings of hurt, loneliness and resentment from childhood.
We see the same thing with Mani.
Problems will always be there in life. Heartbreaks
and tragedies will occur from time to time. The only way to cope with it is
through expressing our feelings, not by suppressing them.
My advice to all those people who are dealing with a
painful phase in life right now is that please express your feelings somehow.
Talk to your parent. Cry in front of them. Confide in a sister or a close
friend.
If you feel no one will understand your anguish and
problems, take refuge in creativity. Write what you feel. Paint and draw. Just try
to take those feelings of hurt and resentment out of your system.
After every storm, there is a sunshine waiting for
you. And if you manage to survive the storm, you will be a much better, stronger
and wiser person. Don’t give up on life. Everything is temporary. Everything
passes away. Suicide is never a solution!
